Wish I Could Turn Back the Clock

We had dinner with my father-in-law in Punggol yesterday evening and decided to head to Compass Point after that because Greg wanted to play some games at TimeZone. KengYong, Father-in-law and Greg headed for TimeZone, whereas Yanti and I did some grocery shopping at Cold Storage. I walked past Eu Yan Sen and decided to get some Chinese herbs for my confinement period after delivery.

As Yanti and I were looking around, I saw another pregnant woman discussing with her mother the types of herbs to buy for her confinement. Instantaneously, I could sense tears welling up in my eyes and all of the sudden, I felt very down. Many thoughts rushed to my mind, and I had to slow myself down to sort my thoughts out. While waiting to make payment, the shop staff must have been shocked to see my eyes red and wet. So was Yanti. She was asking me some things and when she realized that I looked sad, she kept quiet. I was trying so hard to hold my emotions back but I noticed that I was sniffing away and swallowing lots of saliva down. Anyway, Yanti was kind enough to leave me alone and helped me carry my bags of grocery and herbs.

Well, what was wrong with me? I believe deep within me, I still miss my parents. I didn't have to worry a thing previously because I knew that with them around, they would settle everything for me from A-Z. I wouldn't forget that when I had Greg, Mum would make sure that I had a balanced meal all the time and I got to eat whatever tonics she felt necessary. Neither would I be able to erase those memories in which Pa was always buying me fresh foods and brought them all the way down to my house in SengKang during my confinement period more than once a week. Perhaps I had taken many things for granted previously, and I had not been independent enough all these years. Well, it's going to be difficult but I guess I need to remind myself that my confinement period at the end of this year will be different. Hopefully, I do not get postnatal depression. =(

On second thought, I am blessed to have such good parents for the past 30 odd years. Though I may not stand out amongst my three other siblings, I do believe they cared for us in their own ways. Pearl, being the eldest child, had been apparently the princess whom my parents most doted on. Raymond comes next. He's the only son and the one who has the highest academic achievements throughout his schooling years. Of course, he's my parents' hot favourite! Next is me. The "cry baby", as Raymond used to tease me. Just an ordinary child (though some described me as rebellious) and the only one who is left-handed in the family. Last is my little sister, Rina. A child whom my parents worried least (and she's a gem too!) because Mum believed she's generally very matured and understanding since young. She's also the one who played a major role in the care of Mum when Mum was ill. Sigh..Now that both my parents are gone, they seem so near.. but yet so far away.. *sob sob*

Another picture of me with Mum and Dad, on the morning of my wedding day, before I put on my wedding gown. I realized that I didn't have many photos with Mum and Dad when they were around.. how nice if I could turn back the clock..