Greg had Another Fall!

Greg fractured his nose once when he was about 1+years (see both pictures above). He had a very bad fall when he lost his balance on a chair and hit his nosebridge against the edge of the table during Shichida class. I felt so much heartache then as his nosebridge was badly bruised and there was a big swell between his eyes. The pain must be excruciating as Greg cried nonstop. I panic-ed and at that moment, I felt lost and didn't know what to do. In the end, I decided to rush him to Mum's house (which was 5minutes away). Greg looked at me very sadly as I was trying to buckle him up in his car-seat. I almost burst into tears as I couldn't quite recognize him when his bump between his eyes worsened. I tried to ice his wound but he struggled and got very distressed. I was so worried and had so much self-blame. It took him about 2-3 weeks before he's fully recovered but his paediatrician said his nosebridge had already been fractured. His doctor did not think there's anything that can be done but his nosebridge will slowly recover on his own as Greg's still very young. It took me quite a while to get over the whole incident and I was indeed "crazy" then, trying to get him consume more foods with calcium hoping that his nosebridge will smoothen out sooner. I know accidents do happen, but I guess I really have to be doubly alert because Greg's such an active boy.

Well, something similar happened today morning. My maid was feeding Greg some food in the living room, and Hubby was eating his breakfast nearby. I was resting in the bedroom. Suddenly, I heard Greg wailing away. Maid told me Greg had a fall from sofa and hit his forehead but I saw Greg keep touching his nosebridge. A minute later, I saw some bruise and a small bump on Greg's nosebridge! I was quite upset about it. I was upset because of the account that my maid gave and she denied Greg hit his nosebridge until his swell in that area became obvious. I was also emotionally quite affected because this incident reminded me of the previous fall. I tried icing it and put cold towel on his nosebridge but Greg struggled and became distressed. Though his injury this time is not as bad as the previous one, my heart still aches quite a fair bit. From the above picture, you can see the little swell on his nosebridge..aiyo!

Anyway, I have learnt a few things from such injuries. (a) Ensure that the eyes are not affected (b) Ensure no nose bleed (c) Check if nose is crooked. If the child has any of the above three problems, it'd be better to bring the child to see a medical doctor. So now, I am just waiting for Greg's bruise on the nose bridge to spread down to his lower eyelids. Just like what Rina sms-ed me, "Greg's going to be batman for the next two weeks"! Well, hope his "eye bags" this time would not be as black as the previous one.. it's indeed not easy being a parent..I do feel my hands are quite full with just one toddler. I really wonder how my parents managed to bring up 4 kids..

Children's Day is Around the Corner!

It slipped my mind that Children's Day is around the corner. One of Greg's Chinese teacher, Wang Huan LaoShi gave him a cute giraffe stuffed toy. She must have noticed that Greg's very attached to his stuffed toy hence got him another one. WangHuan LaoShi is one teacher who has taught Greg many children's songs in Mandarin and someone who has cultivated his general interest in Chinese. Because of her, Greg enjoys singing the Chinese songs and listening to Chinese conversations. I must really thank her for the effort she has put in.

Greg loves this green giraffe so much that he hugged it all the way back home from school yesterday and even talked to it in the car. He told the green giraffe that he would introduce him to another giraffe when reached home. When home, he ran towards his bed and got hold of his old/ orange giraffe. He told orange giraffe that it has a brother, that is, the green giraffe and the two giraffes had a big hug! Waah.. so touching! Haha..

The picture above was a note from WangHuan LaoShi. It was actually tied to a red ribbon round the green giraffe's neck but Greg accidentally pulled it out! Aiyo. The picture below shows the giraffe brothers! Haha. Greg has not named the green giraffe yet. But anyway, I hereby sincerely thank WangHuan Laoshi for the gift.

A Tribute to Mum

I can't help but keep thinking about Mum and the past. Thanks to Greg and my siblings for triggering these memories over the past couple of days. Hmmm... or should I blame it on my pregnancy hormones, because I noticed my emotions do come in waves. I do get emotionally charged whenever I think about how different my one month confinement would be after my delivery. I would also feel upset whenever I hear someone saying that they have difficulties looking after two young kids and they need their mothers' help when one of their kids is sick. Well, I guess I am not as lucky as them. I do agree that not all grandparents dote on their grandchildren and would "scale high mountains/ swim across the sea" for their grandchildren. But both my Dad and Mum did. I know they had always put the children and grandchildren before themselves, and that's partly why their passing is a great loss to me. They had loved the children and grandchildren more than they loved themselves. I can vouch for that.

Above is the picture taken with Mum and my two sisters using our own camera. I couldn't quite recall which year it was taken but Mum was very well then. She suffered from large intestinal cancer in the late 90s but her condition was considered in remission when we decided to take a huge family photo. It had always been Mum's dream to take a family picture with the children in graduation gowns and all the grandchildren. That was the last time we had our family photo taken and it's a pity that Greg, Regine and Reuben were not in it.

Anyway, here's another poem specially dedicated to my mummy..

It's coming to 4 months since you were gone
Some people may wonder why I still yearn for you after so long
I didnt know how painful it's like to lose own mum
Until I went through it myself and wish this day never come

I really miss your smiles and laughter
I regret not telling you you were such a great mother
There are so many things I want to say
Feel very sad whenever I realize you have gone so far away

During those times when you scolded and caned me
I was upset then but now I can imagine how hurt you could be
I used to think you were biased and never fair
Whether you really were or not, now I no longer care

How I miss the good food that you used to prepare
You are still my best chef, and no one else can compare
Though things have changed and do not stay the same
Inside my heart, our times together would forever remain..

Greg and Ma

Greg suddenly insisted to go Grandma's house when I fetched him from childcare yesterday. He said he wanted to visit grandma and to play his toys there. I told him Grandma wasn't around and no one was at the house but he believed that the house wasn't empty. Since my mum's house is very near to TTSH, i agreed to his request. We arrived at about 6:30pm. Greg's behaviour was a little strange in that he used to prefer to wait for the lift. Yesterday evening, he was somewhat impatient and asked me to walk up the stairs with him instead. When I opened the door, he dashed into Mum's room. His shoes were still on.

I saw him at the side of Mum's bed. He turned to look at me and asked, "Mummy, where's MaMa?". I told him Mum has passed away and is no longer with us. He looked at me, and seemed quite puzzled. He then asked, "Why Mama never bring the tiger pillow along with her?". I was struck dumbed. Not knowing how to answer him, I diverted his attention by asking him what toys he wanted to play. Greg selected the toys and plonked himself comfortably on Mum's bed to play. He wasn't bothered with the heat in the room (windows were not opened) or his shoes not removed. After some time, he decided to leave but together with some of his toys. Greg turned to look at Mum's bed one last time before leaving her room. I know Mum loved him and enjoyed his company a lot. I have taken pictures of him in Mum's room but they didn't turn out to be very nice when I tried attaching them in this blog.

Hubby's leaving for HongKong today. On a business trip. I told Greg about it last night.

Gregory (with his arms stretched out, just like an airplane): Daddy, you are taking aeroplane and you are going HongKong?

KengYong: Yes.

Gregory: Why must you take aeroplane to go HongKong? You cannot drive there?

KengYong: HongKong is very far away. It's not possible to drive there. Must take aeroplane.

Gregory: Are you going HongKong to fetch MaMa home??..

Well, Greg must have thought Mum's still around but somewhere far far away. I guess Greg must have missed Ma a lot too.. It's just a pity that Greg lost both his granddad and grandma at such a young age...

Greg Triggers my Childhood Memories..

I went to fetch Greg yesterday at childcare and noticed that he was not wearing his own pants. Asked him and he told me he had passed motion into his brief and pants, hence his teacher had to change him and get him to wear the one that belongs to the school. Asked him why he didn't inform his teacher about his needs and he claimed that he didn't like to pass motion into the toilet bowl.. at home, he would usually poo into his own potty. The toilet bowl at home is simply too high as Greg's height still hovers around 90cm. Very short hor? I thought the toilet facilities at school were just right for him. Hmmm.. or maybe he finds pooing into the toilet bowl in school frightening. I am not sure... hmmm.. I guess I may have to think of some behavioural methods to get him used to concept of passing motion into the toilet bowl. By the way, he has never been traumatized by any toilet bowl-related incidents at home.

Greg would generally tell me the events that happened in school. Yesterday, he told me his classmate, Davitra, is hospitalized. Asked him why the little girl was in hospital and he said Davitra needed some injections for her leg. Poor Davitra. Sms-ed his form teacher to find out more. According to his teacher, Davitra had to go for a leg surgery because she had a lump around the knee area. So what Greg has shared is somewhat true. Hubby and I thought he's a bit KPO. Hahaha.

However, that brings back some past memories I had. I still remember that I used to tell my mum what happened in school. One day, I witnessed my teacher slapping my friend. One that same afternoon, when my mum was chatting with my friend's mum, I told the latter that the teacher has slapped him. My friend's mum asked me where, and I told her it's on his right cheek. She quickly checked and found that my friend's right ear was very red. She asked my friend about it, but my friend didn't talk much. Immediately, my friend's mum marched to the principal's office. I still remember Mum ask me why I talked so much. Anyway, I got frightened or rather, felt threatened when my teacher came to me the next day and interrogated me why I told my friend's mother what happened. Think I was only in Primary One then, and I was indeed very scared. I kept everything to myself and didn't tell anyone about my teacher's conversation with me. I met my friend's mother again, and she thanked me for telling her about it. However, I still remember I was looking away from her then, feeling quite upset and traumatized.. All I have learnt is that it doesn't always pay well to tell the truth.

Now, thinking back, I do think Greg's characteristics do somewhat resemble mine (e.g., telling me what happened, crying in school in the morning etc)... unsure if it's a good thing or not..

Mooncake Festival..

A little poem dedicated to my three other siblings - Pearl, Raymond and Rina..

It's mooncake festival today

I do not intend to celebrate it anyway

Though we had Mum with us last year

It's obvious Pa's absence greatly reduced the happy atmosphere

I could still recall the fond memories we had on this very day

Lighting up lanterns, sharing mooncakes and the fun games we used to play

Without Pa and Ma, I know mooncake festival will never be the same like before

If only I could turn back the clock when our parents were together with us four..

"Mummy, I have no urine to pass!"

Yesterday was the first day Greg went diaperless at childcare. He has been just wearing his brief at home since 2-3 months back and Hubby asked me why we have to keep buying him Pampers pullups almost every week. Greg doesn't like Drypantz and loves to wear only either Mamy Poko or Pampers ones at school. These pull-ups aren't cheap. I guess they fit him better and he prefers the cartoons/ designs on MamyPoko and Pampers. Sms-ed Greg's form teacher (Teacher Roze), and she's kind enough to let Greg try going without diaper at childcare for the first time yesterday.

Luckily, Greg didn't have any "accidents" at childcare. He strongly refused to put on his pullup when I went to fetch him from childcare. You see, I planned to go fetch Hubby at Harbourfront before we head for our home in SengKang. I was concerned that he might suddenly drop me a bomb to say he wanted to pass urine while we were on our way to Harbourfront as I would be driving and he would be sitting behind on his own. Since he refused, I got him to go toilet before we left childcare. Sigh... he requested for milo and yakult after that. I have some plastic bags(those with green strings and the type of plastic bag that you get when you go wet market buy tau hway zui) ready in the car. I was so worried that before he hopped onto the car, I asked him to pass urine again, but this time, into the plastic bag at the carpark. He just looked at me helplessly and said, "Mummy, I really have no urine to pass..". Aiyo, I felt so bad when he said that. I then told myself that I should trust him and should he really need to pass urine in the midst of traffic jam, perhaps it's time he learns how to control himself. I guess I was too anxious.

Well, when we arrived at Harbourfront, Greg revealed that he needed to ease himself. Waaahh... i felt so relieved and glad that he only said it then. *PHEW*. I wasn't that concerned when Hubby took over the driver's seat. At least I know I can rely on those plastic bags if Greg really needed to pass urine in the car. I could always get Greg off his carseat and get him pee into the plastic bag before tying it up. It only becomes a problem when he's left alone in the carseat behind, with either I/ Hubby driving. Hmmm... wonder if I should get Greg learn how to use those plastic bag himself!! On second thought, I doubt he knows how to tie the plastic bag and it's highly likely that he will spill the urine eventually...I can only now imagine the mess he would create! Haha..

Guess what.. Greg refused to wear his brief this morning when I was preparing him for school. Usually I would change him at the back of the car while Hubby drives us to the childcare. He was visibly upset that I did not bring along his favourite brief. I explained to him that his green brief was washed last night and is still wet. He refused to listen and kicked up a big fuss - whining away and throwing his tantrums. Immediately, Greg was sent straight to his time out corner (in the car!) and he went to childcare without his brief on. I wonder he will feel sad or blessed if he knows his mummy is a clinical psychologist!! Sigh.. what a day to start my Tuesday morning!

Greg's Last Day at Shichida!

Today Gregory attended his last class at the Shichida. He has been with Shichida since he was one, and I know he doesn't detest going for such lessons on Sundays. His teacher, Maeve, has been with him for the past 1.5 years, and she is an amazingly great sinseh! KengYong and I have decided to stop his class for the time being because we foresee that Greg and us would have lots of adjustments to make when his little brother arrives in late nov/ early dec. Well, I am sad that our classes with Sinseh Maeve have ended, but I am glad that I have managed to take some photos today... (Above: Greg's class at Shichida, Below: Greg and Teacher Maeve). *sob sob* I think Greg is going to miss Teacher Maeve, her class and Greg's classmates. For me, I sure will miss the gossips and chats with the mummies...Hope we can still keep in touch!

Greg has lotsa of facial expressions and on Saturday, I managed to get him pose some while we were travelling in the car..heehee... can you guess how he feels in each photo??

(TOP: HAPPY, MIDDLE: SAD, BOTTOM: SURPRISE)

Wonder if he makes a good actor in future...hahaha..

More About little Gregory!

I bought Greg some new briefs (each has thomas the train picture on it) yesterday. He was delighted as he exclaimed, "Wow! Thank you Mummy! So colourful!" He isn't into Thomas the Train but he loves the colours of the briefs. He took them out from the box and said "Mummy, boys wear brief? Girls wear panty?". I said yes. He asked, "Why daddy's brief is so big and mine so small?". I explained that Daddy is a BIG boy so Daddy wears big underwear whereas he's still small so he has to stick to small brief. Greg went, "Ohhh.. if I eat more vegetables, I can also wear big brief like daddy??" Hmmm... I think I'd better clarify with him the effects of consuming vegetables.

Hubby is sick and he seemed to have felt worse yesternight. Poor him. He couldn't take MC and today he has to go to office to clear his work. Greg is quite a sensible boy. I told him Daddy is sick and asked him not to disturb Daddy last night and he really did not pester Daddy to play with him. Even this morning, he told Hubby, "Daddy, you are not well. You don't have to carry me. I walk myself". Inside my heart, I went "Wow... this boy is so sensible!" Heehee. What he said has really made me love him even more!

My Wonderful Gregory..

Let me introduce you my eldest son. His name is Gregory. Born on 02 Feb 2005, hence he's two this year. He has been pretty fast in most of his developmental milestones especially his speech. Greg has started talking in sentences when he turned 13 months. I could still remember him busy coo-ing away when he was barely a month old, and my confinement lady commented that I am going to have a very talkative child. True enough, he talks a lot. He's either sick or asleep if his voice is not heard. However, I wouldn't label him as talkative because I guess it's part of growing up and he's just being inquisitive. Personally I have enjoyed many verbal exchanges with him.. some of which have really amused me. Below were some conversations he had with people around him:

Hubby was quite frustrated one day when Greg kept talking nonstop.
Hubby: Gregory, why you talk so much?
Greg (without hesitation): Because daddy and mummy also talk a lot!
Hubby: ???

I brought Greg home from childcare and we were waiting for a cab at the cabstand. There was a middle-aged man standing behind us who was in clutches and his right leg was in a big cast. Greg kept staring at him for a moment. Surprisingly, he talked to this man and luckily, the man didn't find him rude and kept him entertained.

Greg: Uncle, why (is) your leg so big and you never wear shoes?

Man: Uncle fell down. My right leg was injured so I have to bandage it and my shoes can't fit.

Greg: Is it painful?

Man: Yes. Uncle played badminton and fell.

Greg: Uncle, I also play badminton you know but I never fall down. You must be careful.

Not only me, but I guess the man must have also felt embarrassed. Aiyoo... Greg really acted as if he knows a lot about safety issues...

We ran into a blind man (sitting in a wheelchair) in the lift when we were on our way home from childcare. I had a shock when Greg asked, "Mummy, why is that uncle sleeping?"

Me: Uncle is not sleeping. Greggie, don't talk so much. Eat your fruit.

I explained to Greg that the man is blind etc when we stepped out of the lift. Unfortunately, we met the same blind man in the lift on another day. Greg kept staring at the man.

Greg: Uncle, are you sleeping?

The uncle kept quiet and was looking down. I was indeed very surprised when I heard Greg questioning the man. I got out of the lift quickly, pulling Greg along...

Greg (persistently): Mummy, is the man blind?? He's not sleeping?? Or is he?

*I nearly fainted*.. had to explain to him all about it again.. *headache headache* sometimes I realized that it's often too late for me to stop him from asking people embarrassing questions..

Greg always has this belief that if he eats vegetables, he will be stronger and taller. So everytime, when he could open a heavy door or accomplish a difficult task that requires physical strength, he would say, "Mummy, I ate vegetables today you know". Well, Greg's toilet-trained during the day. Usually, he doesn't wear his diaper at home. One evening, he went to the playground with hubby. Greg's so engrossed in his play that he refused to tell KengYong that he wanted to pass motion because that would mean that he has to terminate his play at the playground and make his way home. Anyway, he played till he couldn't tolerate and he simply passed motion into his brief. KengYong had to hurriedly bring him home because Greg soiled not only his pants, but also his legs and shoes!! What a mess! Of course I was mad.

Me (angrily): Greggie, you are such a big boy already. Why do you still pass motion into your brief and you never tell daddy? See... what a mess you have created!

Greg (as I was washing and changing him): Mummy... I am a small boy today you know. I didn't eat vegetables today..

Me: ???

Waaah.. I really didn't know to laugh or to scold him further...sigh sigh sigh..

Yesterday, Greg kept asking for extra servings of vegetables during dinner time.

Me: It's good that you take vegetables. Why do you decide to eat more vegetables today?

Greg: Because I think I am not tall enough you know. I need to eat more vegetables to grow well. I want to be stronger and taller..

Frankly speaking, I am quite amazed by the way he does his reasoning..

Again yesterday, Greg was in the carseat behind while I drove him home from childcare.

Greg: Mummy, why (is) that old lady carry(ing) umbrella? It's not raining..

Me: Weather is hot. The "ah ma" carries the umbrella so that she doesn't feel so hot. People carry umbrella when it's raining or when the weather is very hot.

Greg: But mummy, it's not very hot now what..

Me: We are in the car with aircon Greggie, so we don't feel hot. The "ah ma" is walking on the road with the sun shining on her. She may feel hot so she uses her umbrella.

Greg: oohhh... *paused* Mummy, where's mama (grandma)?

Me: ...

Me: Mama and Gonggong love you a lot.

Greg: I don't know. So long never see Mama and Gonggong already.

Me: *quite sad*

I guess he still couldn't understand the concept of death yet. His questions sometimes do evoke some emotions in me.. find it quite difficult to explain further when I have not gotten over the grieving part myself.

Greg loves babies a lot. Whenever we attend "manyue" celebrations, he would gently caress the babies' hands. When the babies cry, he would softly pat them on their chest. I could sense that he genuinely likes babies but I am not sure how he would react when his little brother is out. So far he seems quite caring. For instance, there was once he laid on the sofa with his head on my lap and pressing against my lower abdomen. His little brother kicked him on the head. I could feel it and so did Greg. Greg just touched his forehead and laughed it off, "Didi kicked my head! So funny!". Last night, I was sitting with him, watching Hi5 VCDs. Suddenly, he stretched out his arm, and pat gently on my tummy. He said "I sayang Didi. I love Didi." So sweet of Greg hor? I just thought he's a very lovable boy. He does melt my heart because whatever he expresses, I believe he means it. Hope his love for his little brother maintains.. *keeping my fingers crossed*

Below is one of the pictures of Greg which I like very much. It's taken when he was about 1.5 years old when we were at the zoo, one of his favourite haunts. I feel indeed very blessed to have him. He's simply wonderful!

It's My Chinese Birthday Today!!

Today is my Chinese birthday. The sixth day of the eighth lunar month. How time flies... I usually feel extremely old on this very day! *sob sob*. My "English" birthday falls on 2 Sept but it's within 100days from mum's passing so I only had dinner gathering with my 3 siblings and their family on that Sunday. Rina strictly reminded all of us that there must be no celebrations (of any sort) during the 100 days. However, she's kind enough to get me a mango cake from Baker's Inn on 2 Sept but because cannot celebrate so no birthday song for me.=(

My family and I were at Vivo City last night. Walked past the Chocolate Art shop. Saw the mouth drooling Choc Truffle cake and I decided to buy it for my Chinese birthday since it falls after the '100 days'. Thought it's quite cheap - $20! and it's really yummi-delicious. Celebrated my birthday with KengYong and Gregory last night. Gregory was the most excited. He volunteered to help me put the candle into the cake while hubby and I went to look for matchsticks/ lighter in the kitchen. When we returned, Greg said to me proudly, "Mummy, I put your candle into the cake already you know". Both hubby and I were stunned! Look at the picture below and you will understand why we had a shock when we saw how the candle was stuck into the cake. I guess he must have used a lot of strength to squeeze the candle down into the mousse cake!

Dunno whether to laugh or to be annoyed. Hubby pulled out the candle and lots of chocolate were stuck to the candle. We had to wash and dry it. I guess gota get Greg practise putting candles into the cake more often next time! Ha!

Greg was so happy. He sang me birthday songs (both in English and Mandarin) while clapping his hands. Very sweet of him. I do feel very blessed to have this son. He even asked if he could blow my candle and cut the cake for me. Heehee... as if it's his birthday.

Greg loves to eat cakes. Or rather, he loves anything that tastes sweet. Look at how he enjoyed the cake last night.. I felt happy that night. *Happy Birthday Marina*

To My Mummy with Love..

Life has its ups and downs. I noticed that I have more downs than ups since dad's passing in June 2006. So sudden and his demise ripped my heart apart. About a month later, I had to undergo MTPT because my second baby had a dysplastic cycstic kidney which was dislocated. Things didn't get any better even when I found out that I was pregnant again in April 2007. Mum's condition just deteriorated. I lost her in June 2007. Just slightly before dad's first death anniversary. I really miss them so much. Still having a hard time grieving over so many losses. One after another. Sometimes I feel so numbed whereas there are also times when I can be so overwhelmed with emotions.

Eventually, I tried to pen my thoughts and feelings down in poetry format whenever strong emotions hit me. I shared some of these poems with people around and MuiJoo asked me why not start a blog and save my poems in it. I do worry that I may not have the inspiration to write poems all the time. But well, on second thought, perhaps it's one good way I could save all my poems. It's not necessary that I have to write poems all the time. I could always write about my lovely 2 year old Gregory and his little brother who's going to bounce onto earth at the end of this year! So here I am, after much hesitation and procrastination! Heehee.

I have been feeling pretty low lately. Not sure if it's due to my hormonal change during pregnancy. In the night, I would suddenly think about mum and dad, and I know my confinement this time will be very different because there isn't anyone who will fuss over me. Anyway, I came up with a poem when a sudden wave of emotions hit me this morning. Here it is and just to share this with you.. a poem dedicated to my mummy who's always so strong and brave! How I wish I could be as courageous as her..

I still remember the night you could last open your eyes

You looked around without any rest despite many tries

How I now regret that I didn't stay longer

I didn't know then that I would lose you forever

Your illness is indeed one that's hard to fight

You were so brave to take it on with all your might

I could sense your distress when pa was gone

You did try to move on and remain strong

How I wish you and pa are still around

Everything is so so different now

We have stopped playing 'fish red fish' and 'gerami'

But the fun and memorable moments would be kept with me.

It'd be nice if you both could be near

So that I know there is nothing I need to fear

It's really not easy to let you both go

Especially with the dear memories I still hold..