Some thoughts..

A close relative of mine has been feeling low. She's like a mother to me, and when she called me to share her woes with me, I felt so helpless. I guess the only thing I could do is to just lend her my listening ear. She was so close to Mum that they used to share so many secrets over teleconversations. Now that Mum's gone, I could also sense that she felt lost. Anyway, Rina and I decided to take half a day off to go visit her at home yesterday. She was so delighted that she cooked so much for our lunch - there's teochew pomfret, spicy curry chicken, lotus soup and vegetables with ikan bilis. She must have guessed that Rina and I had not been having all these delicacies for some time. I love homecooked food, and have not tasted such nice foods since Mum's gone. We spent the whole afternoon with her at her house. I could feel my heart pierced when she broke down in front of us eventually. At that moment, I wondered if I had ever upsetted my own Mum before.. I think I would not be able to forgive myself if I ever witness Mum cry over some of the things I have/ have not done. Sometimes, we do not know how/ have forgotten to cherish someone until we have lost that someone. Quite sad huh?... and I suppose it's pointless crying over split milk/ feeling guilty only when the loss sets in.

Of course, when it comes to work and seeing my own patients, I am able to draw the line very clearly, and so far, I have not been emotionally affected in my job. Somehow, it's just so different when things happened to people close to me. I will get somewhat affected when I come to know that these people are feeling sad and inside me, I feel that I need to do something to help. Hmm... not good this way because it seems to me that I could only be happy if people around me who are close to me are happy..well, I guess afterall I am only a normal human being.. and I do not live alone in this world.