Over the past two years, I received streams of condolences and encouragement. From friends, colleagues and relatives. I know they meant well, but frankly speaking, I was given the impression that the chain of unfortunate events that had happened to me for the past two years were not common and could only be seen in TV drama serials. I guess it was just so coincidental that one sad event happened after another. But anyway, I did feel odd.. and tired then. That feeling wasn't pleasant at all.
Now I receive smses or emails from friends and relatives sharing with me their losses (e.g., abortion, death of their loved one, how sick their loved one is etc). I am uncertain if they chose to confide in me because I am a clinical psychologist or that they feel comfortable sharing with me something that I have gone through it myself. By the way, I am absolutely fine with people sharing their emotions and thoughts with me. Afterall, that's what friends are for. What struck me is that many commented that I was strong. Strange.. I have never ever perceived myself as someone who's emotionally strong (remember, my brother has always said I was a 'cry baby' since young?). Neither do I think the events that had happened to me would/ have strengthened me in any way. As I was thinking back how I have coped over the past two years (and I am still adapting!), a little poem popped into my mind..
I am ordinary, like all other human beings
Just someone with own thoughts and feelings
Each time a sad event happens
Like you, my mood surely dampens.
Deeply into my heart, it may cut
I know I have to help myself to get out of the rut
People around may show their concern and say they understand
Very often I wonder if they could really comprehend.
I don't think I am someone who is strong
It's probably that I do not wish my life to go wrong
I have seen people with problems many times worse
It's time I should move on and not think it's a curse.
I have learnt to count my own blessing
Just have to pick myself up even if I keep falling
How I want my life to be
I guess no one can run it except me..
2 comments:
At least you know you just have to pick yourself up even if you keep falling.I fell so many times till now I no longer have the strength and dont know how I could pick myself up anymore.
I know what you mean.Many ppl have been telling me I m iron lady and some even commented dont know what I was made from,they would have collapsed if they were me but I m like you. Just an ordinary human being.
I like your poems.It lift me up day by day.
somehow we wish that our parents could still have been around
maybe till we are in our 40s and even 50s and 60s
this is our destiny for this life
it cannot be changed
for we are now adapting to our own independent lives
we are already thankful our parents brought us up well
it is now to bring up the next generation
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