Gareth is Two Months Old Today!

How time flies.. Gareth turns 2 months old today. He's definitely heavier (weighed about 5.5kg about one and a half weeks ago) and full of facial expressions. He loves staring at new faces, and if the person displays a smiley face, he would smile back. However, if you give him an angry or sad face, be prepared that he would wail!

I am glad that he's fully breastfed still. KengYong and Greg had been down with really bad cough and flu of late. Greg refused to sleep with KengYong and insisted that he wanted to sleep with Gareth and I. It was really impossible to quarantine or keep Greg away from Gareth during that period. Well, both KengYong and Greg have now recovered and I choose to believe that breastfeeding did help to keep the bug away from Gareth. Haha.. maybe I am trying to find good reasons to keep me motivated in continuing to breastfeed Gareth. Greg now also gets a small dosage of my expressed milk in his last milk feed at night. However, I do dislike expressing my milk - not only it makes me feel like a cow, I can take as long as an hour to do it, as compared to 15-20minutes when I latch Gareth on directly (including burping). But what to do, I have got to start storing my milk up for Gareth's usage at the infant care. Sigh.. he's going infant care in mid Feb, which means I have to start work end Feb, and that implies no more naps for me during the day *SOB SOB*

Har? Diaperless During Sleep?

Greg had great fun at wild wild wet yesterday celebrating Xian's 6th birthday. He was so exhausted that he rests at home today. Greg's happy that he "pong tang" school and was busy keeping himself occupied with toys at home. During his naptime, he insisted to nap without his diapers on. At childcare, Teacher Roze had stopped putting him on diapers throughout the day since the beginning of this year, including his nap time. However, I am still not game to try him diaperless during his afternoon nap. I just didn't like him wetting his bed (because I share bed with him) and we do not have enough bedsheets to change (just 2). Anyway, since he was so insistent, I decided to try him diaperless at home during naptime just now. Heehee.. but I got Yanti to lay the waterproof sheets below his bedsheet. Well, Greg managed to stay dry, and yes, he could wake up to just pee and return to sleep himself. Aiya... I should have trusted him and save more diapers hor... Er... now he's asking me if he could go diaperless at night... aiyo, his sleep at night is many hours longer than his afternoon nap... well, I suppose when he's ready, he's ready. Anyway, he's big enough, and it's time he should go diaper free. I guess Greg's pretty trustworthy in keeping his words..

Gareth Is Now Botak!

Gareth just had his haircut. Actually I was quite hesitant about bringing him for his haircut because I know I would miss his soft hair. Anyway, looking at how uneven his hair was and I could see rashes inside his hair, I thought he needed a haircut. Does he look more like Greg now? Heeheehee.

At 5 weeks+, Gareth is pretty responsive. Besides crying, smiling and cooing, he gets very excited when he sees me put on my sarong sling. He loves going out and he knows that we are going out when I have my sling on. He would give me a charming smile, let out a "oooh" sound, kick his legs and swing his arms as if he wants me to quickly carry and put him into the sling! Haha... so cute.

Am I So Unfortunate?

I feel so tired of late. Gareth isn't sleeping well during both day and night. He wants me to carry him to sleep and once I put him down into his cot/ sarong, he would wake up immediately. However, I notice that he also sleeps longer when I put him to sleep on my tummy. Hence for a couple of days I slept together with him, with him on my tummy. Finally I decided to put him on his own tummy and I could monitor him while I do my work (e.g., watching television, reading papers, using computer). Phew! So far so good but Gareth does have his mood. There are times he's not happy sleeping on his tummy on his own. =( That's why my big eye bags never seem to disappear.

Gareth is growing fast but I notice that I am not as enthusiastic in doing certain things (e.g., taking weekly pictures of Gareath which I did for Gregory) as before. It's not that Gareth is less cute but I realize that I just didn't have the energy. Life is indeed a lot more stressful with a new addition in the family. Coupled with my lack of rest/ sleep, juggling two kids is indeed not fun. Of course, there were occasions when Gareth cried and Gregory cried even louder, I sobbed together with them. How pathetic hor? I am just not as fortunate as my friends around me. I have both my parents no more. I still remember when I first had Greg and I couldn't cope, I would head straight down to Mum's house. Mum and Dad would shoo me into my room to rest while they took over the care of Greg. I do not have such luxury now.

Sigh.. Maybe I shouldn't keep thinking it this way. It makes me feel really sad. I suppose I have been so negative because I have witnessed lately how happy my friends' young kids were when they were with their grandparents. It'd be nice if Mum and Dad are still around. I know Mum would cook nice foods for the grandchildren and Dad would teach them ABCs. Hmmm.. me and my wishful thinking. Maybe it's pretty unhealthy to keep thinking in this way. Perhaps I should count my blessings and think about what I have at the moment. Well, at least I have Yanti who did lighten my load significantly.. so I guess I am not the most unfortunate person in this world lah..

How To Manage?

It hasn't been easy managing two kids on my own. It gets pretty tough on me during those times when Greg doesn't want Yanti at all and KengYong isn't around. Undeniably, I lost control of my temper at times (especially with Greg's whining and crying) and I would give Greg a dressing down. I felt really upset after scolding him because I could see that he was emotionally affected. I did try my very best to spend as much time with him as I could but Greg wanted more. He wanted the same as before, when Gareth wasn't around. I could sense the relationship between Greg and I have drifted apart slowly. I felt quite hurt when he ran to hug Yanti (instead of I) when we fetched him from childcare over the last few days. Well, perhaps he felt hurt and rejected with all my scoldings too. I think I have forgotten to give him the positive attention when he's good and I kept jumping onto him when he did something to get on my nerves. I think I have indeed neglected Greg somewhat. Why did I say that? Some of his friends were born around his birthdate(or even later than him) and their parents have already planned for their birthday parties whereas I have been sitting on it. After receiving the smses on these birthday parties from other parents, I decided that I have to do something for my little boy on his birthday. And I must do something to bring him and I close again..

I went to pick Greg up from childcare yesterday and Teacher Roze was sharing with me about Greg's behaviour at childcare. Apparently, there's a new boy in his class and Greg wasn't happy about his favourite teacher spending lots of time with him. Greg was said to throw tantrums in school because of that. I felt quite sad when I first learnt about it. Sad because if I were Greg, not only do I feel rejected at home, I also have to go through the same thing at school. I tried talking to Greg about his situation at school but to no avail. Well, I guess I will change the home situation first instead since it's something I have more control over. I probably have to train Yanti to look after Gareth more, and perhaps I could bring Greg out alone when Gareth attends the infant care. Sigh.. it's indeed not easy to juggle two kids well on my own, but I am still game to give it another go. Wish me luck!