Greg has been refusing school for the past few days because his favourite teacher (T Roze) took a short vacation to Malacca to celebrate Hari Raya. He got really upset at night just before bedtime, begging me not to bring him to school the next day. I tried probing further and he claimed that some of his school teachers would request him to eat vegetables. Well, Greg has been refusing vegetables no matter how the teachers and I tried (e.g., making his dish look interesting etc). I was so tired of trying that I decided to give him and myself a break. Interestingly, he may eat up those vegetables served if no one nags at him. Apparently, some of his teachers tried encouraging him to consume vegetables by focusing on the benefits of eating vegetables. As Teacher Roze knows him too well, she has not been forcing any veges down his throat. Neither has she been "nagging" (that's what greg called it) about it. He disliked people keep talking about the issue, and because he is a socially desirable boy, he may force himself do something he does not want to do, just to make the other person happy. You see, somehow his behaviour makes his other teachers think that their "verbosity" works and it maintains their behaviour, whereas Greg at the other end, feels upset about having to do something he doesn't want. This boy isn't assertive enough and very often, he gets upset with someone without the person knowing that he is upset with him/ her.
Well, anyway, Greg got really upset on Sunday night. He knew T Roze would not be in school on Monday. He cried and refused to sleep. I had a chat with him after tugging Gareth to bed. He said one of his teachers wants him eat vegetable. I did explain to Greg that there's nothing that the teachers could do if he really refuses to eat vegetables. He said he didn't like them talk and nag about it in class. Anyway, in the end, he was agreeable to go to bed when I promised that I would inform that teacher not to mention anything about eating vegetables in class. The next morning, as usual, he got very upset when he arrived at school. I didn't want to stay long in the premise because the longer I stay, the more he would whine and cry. Hence, I just left the message (about that teacher)with the teacher whom I handed Greg over to, and walked off quickly.
Interestingly, when I picked Greg up that evening, I had this very strong feeling that that teacher would come and clarify things with me. Probably because I somehow know the character of this teacher. True enough it happened. I was glad that she did confront me about Greg's complaint. What really hit me wasn't her clarification. She reminded me of my past. I still remember sharing with my parents about a particular teacher when I was very young. The things I shared were very true, but my parents were generally very protective of I I believe. I didn't expect that they would go straight to the principal about the issue. What happened was that the information was cascaded down to the teacher I spoke to my parents about. Unfortunately that teacher came up to me and threatened me. I got quite frightened. I felt extremely upset. I was angry that my parents told everything to the principal. I was merely sharing with them my day at school. Never did I expect them to act on my complaints. I knew I was not wrong about that teacher but I certainly didn't like that look in her eyes when she confronted me. Well, somehow I was wondering if I did wrong here, in Greg's case. I did as what I have promised him, to reassure him. And in the hope that he could sleep for that night. But on the other hand, I did not wish that he would experience what I used to go through. Perhaps I was too quick to act on his words. I was not trying to single that teacher out. I was trying to reduce his anxiety but I could appear as an over-protective parent. If not done well, I believe I could even hamper his ability to stand up for himself. Anyway, just some thoughts that went through my head. And if you ask me now, I think my parents did that, thinking that it was the best for I. It's just that they would not expect the teacher came looking for I..
