Just Another Poem

Just to share with you another poem.. it's for another person whom I know. I thought you have been fighting the 'battle' well.. please continue to press on and I sincerely hope that you can get out of it soon. Do contact me if you need to talk ok?

It must have been hard for you to always put up a brave front

Especially when you are the only one who feel the brunt

It has nothing to do with whether you are at fault

This is a part of your life and focus on what you have got.

Instead of pondering over the many 'why' questions

It could be more fruitful to think about the possible solutions

Such loss can be difficult to express and describe

But you have already done your best and with all your might.

Thoughts of harming yourself and ending your life may have hit you

They are NOT your solutions, making it hard for you to start anew

Your battle still has to go on

Hang in there and you may come out of it feeling strong.

School Excursion to the Zoo

Greg was so excited about his zoo trip on Wednesday morning. This wasn't his first time going to the zoo, but it's definitely his first time with his friends and teachers there. Kengyong was supposed to accompany him for the trip but unfortunately he had to leave for Malaysia on a business trip till this weekend. Hence, I had to follow Greg along. Anyway, Greg usually doesn't care about me when I go on such school excursions with him. Unfortunately not all his friends went this time. Only 4 of his classmates (Rayhan, Kenghow, Saachi and Maevis) signed up for the trip. Nevertheless, he still looked forward to having fun with his teachers and friends there. He was always on a lookout for Teacher Roze that morning in case he was left behind at school. Even when I told him I needed to go to the toilet before we left, he kept hurrying me and was worried that everyone might leave for the zoo without us. I could really sense his excitement and anxiety. (Above pictures: Top - Greg took a picture with Saachi at the front door of his childcare centre when he spotted her. He held her hands and told her to hurry up because she arrived late. Middle - Greg, KengHow and Rayhan were waiting patiently at TTSH level 1 for the bus to pick them up. Below - Greg and Rayhan met Maevis at the zoo entrance and they decided to pose for a picture. )

One of the highlights of the trip was the mini workshop, in which the children could learn about some small animals and go really up close and personal with these animals. Greg was not keen on touching the chinchilla at first but upon witnessing Rayhan do it, he decided to give it a try. He was so excited after a stroke on the animal and told me that the 'chin chin' is so soft and furry. See picture below.

The heat yesterday morning was unbearable. I was perspiring profusely while dragging my feet along. We went to watch the elephant show (I think it's Greg's fifth time watching it). He remained excited about it, because he told his friend Saachi enthusiastically what to expect next in the show. Greg loves watching the elephants use their trunk to carry the long, heavy logs.
Greg: Mummy, you see, the elephants are so strong...
Me: Ya. Do you know why elephants are so strong?
Greg: Why?
Me: They eat lots of vegetables and fruits you know..
Greg: I also eat vegetables and fruits Mummy. Am I strong, like the elephants?
Me: It'd be nice if you can eat more vegetables Greggie..
Greg: Mummy, if I eat a lot a lot of vegetables, will my nose grow so long and strong, like the elephants?
Me: Of course not, silly boy.
Saachi's mum was laughing away while I was trying to explain why his nose wouldn't grow longer even if he consumes more vegetables.

We had our kfc lunch after watching the elephant show. Above photos: Left - Greg and Saachi were pretending to be prisoners behind bars while waiting for their lunch. Right - Rayhan, Greg and Saachi were holding hands and running about after their lunch. The kids were generally full of energy and we went on to look at some other animals (e.g., baboon, tiger, hippo). Soon it was time we had to head back to the childcare centre. Most kids were so tired that they napped in the bus. Greg remained very awake throughout the journey back, and took his nap at school whereas I had to return to work for the other half of the day. Picture below - Greg was waving goodbye as we were waiting for our turn to board the bus.

It was a tiring day for me but an enjoyable one for Greg I believe..

A Poem for a Friend

A friend of mine has constantly been in a conflictual relationship with her mother-in-law and lately she emailed me a very long letter ventilating her frustrations. I believe it takes two hands to clap in any relationships, and many times it's difficult to really tell who's right and who's wrong. Of course, I would offer my friend as much support as I could, hoping that she would feel and cope better.

I had (and still have) my fair share of woe in close relationships though I do not have a mother-in-law now. I believe misunderstandings and conflicts are inevitable in almost all human interactions. I can't seem to forget hurtful incidents but I suppose I have forgiven and moved on. As the saying goes, "Once bitten twice shy", my fears that history may repeat itself remain. I must say that I am not courageous enough to take any form of risk to get myself hurt currently because I know if things were to happen again now, I will not have my mum and dad to turn to. I do not wish to get myself caught in that kind of situation. Or maybe I have become less brave and gungho with age? I am not sure..

Anyway, here's a little poem for my friend who's still struggling with her problems.

Sometimes I sit and stare
I wonder if life is really so unfair
Is it a matter of my perception
Or of myself and people around, I have a certain level of expectation?

I have now learnt to do what I can in my designated role
Pursuing my unhappy past can be quite a toil
Though you may feel that you are never in the wrong
Your spouse may not understand, hence making your relationship less strong

There are things in our life we can't change and control
Grudges we bear, it may be better to let them go
I know it's going to be tough but try to be forgiving
It's only then that your life may have more meaning.

Hey pal, you know who you are. By the time you read this, I hope you have already felt better. Give yourself some more time to calm down and move on. I know very often it's easier said than done... life is indeed short. No point harbouring so much hatred towards a person and getting yourself so distressed. Focus on what you have been blessed with and be happy ok?..

Can I Help You Draw?

I laid on my bed to rest, and Greg joined me yesterday evening. Suddenly, Greg witnessed my tummy move vigorously and he quickly flipped open my shirt.
Greg: Mummy, your tummy is moving..see..
Me: Ya.. Didi is moving inside.
Greg: Ooohh... Mummy, why is there a brown line on your tummy? (pointing to the linea nigra)
Me: When you/ Didi are inside Mummy's tummy, Mummy will have this line.. (trying to explain that it's part of pregnancy)
Greg: Did Daddy draw the line? ...Why did Daddy draw the line Mummy?
Before I could explain..
Greg: Because your tummy moves and it's painful?? Mummy, is your tummy still painful? I help you draw another line can?
Me: ???
Then Greg ran off and came back to me with a brown colour pencil..
Greg: Or Mummy, I help you draw circles on your tummy since your tummy is so round?..

Inside my heart, I went "Oh no!". I explained to Greg one more time but I doubt he has understood what I was trying to tell him. Anyway, knowing that I disallowed him to doodle on my tummy, he ran off to ask Yanti if he could doodle on her hands... Aiyo!

My New Fashion Consultant

I have been rather sick of putting on my maternity pants and top every morning when going to work. This morning, I decided to try something new. I wore a sleeveless ethnic Indian brown top and an outer dress-like garment over it. I did think I looked weird but I thought it was quite fun dressing up this way. Walked to hubby while he was brushing teeth and he nearly got himself choked with the thick colgate in his mouth. Asked him if I looked funny, and he replied 'a bit'. I gave him a disappointed look and immediately he said, "ok lah!". So happily, I skipped to the kitchen to have my breakfast.

Greg woke up at about 7am this morning. I heard him calling me so I walked into his room.

Greg (looking puzzled but didn't seem fully awake): Mummy, why you wear like that?

Me: Like what?

Greg: You look very funny you know... *greg smiling away*

Me: I look funny?? Not nice you mean?

Greg (nodded his head): Not nice. Go change Mummy. Go.

So sad... in the end I decided to change into my usual black top and pants. So solemn and not creative at all... but Greg upon seeing me in my usual working clothes, he said, "Mummy, now you look nice". Hubby laughed at me for listening to Greg. Well, I guess at least Greg was honest in his comments... hmmm... now when I think about it, since when did Greg become my fashion consultant??!! Hmmm..

Greg's New Hairdo

Hubby returned to Singapore on late Saturday night. When he woke up the next morning, he commented that Greg's hair has grown longer and more messy. Greg's a very active boy and he perspires profusely whenever he carries out any physical activities. His hair will always be very wet, as if he just has it washed. Hubby and I decided to get him go for his haircut on Sunday morning.

Me: Greggie, we are going to bring you for a haircut ok?
Greg: No. I don't want.
Me: But your hair is so long and Daddy says your hair looks messy you know.
Greg: Mummy, are you going to cut your hair?
Me: No.
Greg: But Mummy, your hair is so long! Mine is shorter than yours. See... (pointing to his own hair)
Me: You are a boy so it'd be neater for you to have short hair. Mummy is a girl. Girls can have longer hair.
Greg: Why Mummy? Can I be a girl? I don't want to go for my haircut..
Me: ????

Anyway, we brought Greg to a $10 haircut shop at Compass Point and he looked quite apprehensive while waiting for his turn. He requested to sit on my lap when his turn came. He teared at the beginning but stopped after a very short while. When he saw his hair shaved, he exclaimed, "Mummy, see... I have no hair now". I had to reassure him that he still has his hair but it's just very short now. It was only after the hairdresser told him he looked good then he started smiling. He was so happy that he said he wanted to tell his form teacher (Teacher Roze) and friends about his new hairdo. I guess the hairdresser must have boosted his self-esteem quite a fair bit! Heehee. He also happily posed for me after his haircut in the two pictures above.

Wet Hari Raya

It was a cool Hari Raya morning. Rina, LiPing and I decided to bring our kids to the new Jacob Ballas Garden located at Bukit Timah. Greg and Ryan were so excited when we arrived at the garden but I must say I was quite disappointed with the place. Perhaps it was extremely crowded on a Saturday morning. The treehouse was so filled with kids and many young kids came down from the covered slides crying away. Yanti took the slide and felt that it was too steep for very young children. She even had some abrasions after taking the slide. I thought there should be some safety signs indicating the minimum age for children to use the slides.

The garden itself was so small that we couldn't find a comfortable place to put our picnic mats and for the kids to play with balls, bubbles and badminton. In addition, the constant morning rain also dampened our mood for a fun picnic there. We did manage to take some photos, but I doubt I would be returning to this garden again so soon. Above photos: It was such a challenge to take a snapshot of the four kids together and making sure that they looked at the camera. The first photo was taken in a small manmade cave with a mini waterfall. We were hiding from the rain then. The second picture was taken at the suspended bridge when Ryan and Greg were running across it. The picture below was taken when we were hiding (from the rain again!) near the classrooms where the covered area is. The kids rested there and had a mini biscuits feast before they took out their watercans to collect the rain (because there's nothing else they could do when the rain was so heavy).

Though we didn't do much at the garden, Yanti, Greg and I felt so tired after our lunch at Paragon. Greg and I brought Yanti to Sakura for dinner after our nap that day, partly to celebrate Hari Raya with Yanti. I believe it wasn't as fun as the atmosphere she had in Indonesia with her family on this very day, but I do hope that our presence and effort had made her feel less home sick.