Am I So Unfortunate?

I feel so tired of late. Gareth isn't sleeping well during both day and night. He wants me to carry him to sleep and once I put him down into his cot/ sarong, he would wake up immediately. However, I notice that he also sleeps longer when I put him to sleep on my tummy. Hence for a couple of days I slept together with him, with him on my tummy. Finally I decided to put him on his own tummy and I could monitor him while I do my work (e.g., watching television, reading papers, using computer). Phew! So far so good but Gareth does have his mood. There are times he's not happy sleeping on his tummy on his own. =( That's why my big eye bags never seem to disappear.

Gareth is growing fast but I notice that I am not as enthusiastic in doing certain things (e.g., taking weekly pictures of Gareath which I did for Gregory) as before. It's not that Gareth is less cute but I realize that I just didn't have the energy. Life is indeed a lot more stressful with a new addition in the family. Coupled with my lack of rest/ sleep, juggling two kids is indeed not fun. Of course, there were occasions when Gareth cried and Gregory cried even louder, I sobbed together with them. How pathetic hor? I am just not as fortunate as my friends around me. I have both my parents no more. I still remember when I first had Greg and I couldn't cope, I would head straight down to Mum's house. Mum and Dad would shoo me into my room to rest while they took over the care of Greg. I do not have such luxury now.

Sigh.. Maybe I shouldn't keep thinking it this way. It makes me feel really sad. I suppose I have been so negative because I have witnessed lately how happy my friends' young kids were when they were with their grandparents. It'd be nice if Mum and Dad are still around. I know Mum would cook nice foods for the grandchildren and Dad would teach them ABCs. Hmmm.. me and my wishful thinking. Maybe it's pretty unhealthy to keep thinking in this way. Perhaps I should count my blessings and think about what I have at the moment. Well, at least I have Yanti who did lighten my load significantly.. so I guess I am not the most unfortunate person in this world lah..